20 Over-Descriptive Words That All Women Should Avoid Using At Any Costs
Have you ever been in a situation with a female friend, girlfriend, parent, grandparent, co-worker, dog, alien and you just wanted to scream "TOO MUCH INFORMATION" as they describe some personal/intimate action that just isn't appropriate for the type of conversation you are having with them?
You know, the sort of thing that crosses any boundaries of the relationship with them you have in place, and interferes with things should just be left to the dark recesses of you imagination.
However, now there is a new word-enemy on the block in regard to the above in the female realm, it's quick, deadly and super-efficient and strikes deeper than anything said during a long dialog and can be uttered at any time, sometimes the power of just ONE word can invoke all sorts of nasty imagery in your head and ruin any chance of having food/intercourse/relationships with that person again after it has been said. They also can have multiple definitions depending on what you are referring to or what continent you reside in, so it can make for some outrageous assumptions and scathing observations
Here are a list of the 20 top offenders, avoid using (or hearing the words) below and disassociate yourself from any woman who uses them from this point onwards.
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1. 'FAMALAM'
A way of referring to other people as being close friends or family -- WHY 'FAMALAM', WHY!!!?!
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2. 'HUBBY'
Someone that you're dating that you think will become your future husband - The words you are looking for are 'Husband', or 'Boyfriend', use them!!!
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3. 'Moist'
When a female becomes sexually aroused -- 'Moist' can also be used to describe a situation or occurrence. If someone is faced with a circumstance that is particularly displeasing it's also acceptable to say something like 'rahh that's moist' - CAUTION: This could be very confusing if used in the wrong situation.
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4. 'Holibobs'
A period of time which is spent away from home relaxing, usually in a foreign clime, preferably with sun. However may also refer to any break from work during which you spend time by yourself or with family - WHY GOD, WHY!?!
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5. 'Smear'
A famous Los Angeles tagger turned gallery artist. He started killing the streets of LA hard in 1997 and has been painting canvas since about 2005. He's been featured in numerous Los Angeles Times articles, one of which revealed his identity (Cristian Gheorghiu) to the masses after a highly publicized graffiti arrest in 2009......Or more probably a 'cervical screening test' - TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!
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6. 'Discharge'
Not the British hardcore punk band, more likely to be biological fluids contained within or expelled from the vagina - WHY DO YOU NEED TO TELL ANYONE THIS!!?
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7. 'Flaccid'
1. Limp or soft -- 2. When the male penis is unhappy -- 3. "Down" time - Best not to use this one out of context (best not to use it EVER!).
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8. 'Phlegm'
The green snotlike substance that rattles in your throat when you cough,especially after smoking about 70 cigarettes - Note to self ladies: Keep this to yourself, just between you and 'you. and NO ONE else!
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9. 'Fanny'
UK, Australia, NZ. Fanny= Front bottom ---- Silly Yanks. Fanny= Rear bottom - Best NEVER to use this word (especially during intercourse) and just point to the area you are describing as it could get confusing/painful/interesting.
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10. 'NOM'
The sound made when eating something (or someone). Can be referred to as "NOMMing" as a verb, and is often pronounced in the sentence "OM NOM NOM" - Words like this should never leave the internet!
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11. 'Gusset'
Part of a womans underwear, which sits just below her front bottom (NOT 'fanny' - refer to point '9' for more information) - A very ugly word and a real passion/conversation/friendship killer.
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12. 'Muchly'
'Very, a lot' - The Pittsburgh Penguins did muchly well last night!- STOOPID, just STOOPID!!! (sidenote: No one talks about the The Pittsburgh Penguins muchly anyway)
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13. 'Banter'
Supple term used to describe activities or chat that is playful, intelligent and original. Banter is something you either posses or lack, there is no middle ground. It is also something inherently English, stemming as it does from traditional hi-jinks and tomfoolery of British yesteryear - Just because the Brits invented this word doesn't make it a quaint and cool word to use. EVER!
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14. 'Boink'
A word that your parent's use to describe sex to you, even when you are an adult - "Oh my lord, Jennifer! You're... you're not BOINKING him, are you?" - If you are using this word you are either OLD...or still living at home with your parents!!
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15. 'Scrummy'
A combination of "scrumptious" and "yummy", used to convey that deep, satisfied pleasure that comes after you finish something (a television show, a good meal, etc) - Seriously, is your IQ so low you can't think of any other descriptive words?
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16. 'Amazeballs'
Some annoying term Perez Hilton keeps trying to make happen, by saying it repeatedly, even though it makes no sense, and getting twitter followers to try and make it a trending topic, to make himself more famous for no reason - Pro tip: If Perez Hilton is using it, why the hell are YOU using it??
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17. 'Girlies'
Can mean a a girl or young woman (often used as a term of address), but can also mean minimally clothed or naked women, typically in pornography: 'girlie magazines' - An ever so subtle 'opposite ends of the spectrum' little word that can ruin relationships if taken the wrong way.
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18. 'Soiled'
Either means 'crapping your pants' or smoking marijuana: classified as "gettin soiled" - Once again, make sure the person you are speaking to knows the difference!
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19. 'Yeast'
An essential fungus that is used in brewing beer....or....A fungus that infects womens' vaginas, causing them to produce a cottage cheese-like substance - Men will gravitate towards any vessel that has this in and run away from the other kind, know the difference!
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20. 'Hehe'
Muffled laughter, suggesting a sneaky aspect to that being laughed at, differs from 'lol' in this way, which is a full on belly laugh - If you use this you officially have NO life (or real friends).
(h/t: Urban Dictionary for the well-observed definitions of the meanings)