Hershey Is Suing A Colorado Company Over Marijuana Candy

In Colorado it seems it's alright to smoke your marijuana but for Cheech's sake, don't you dare try to eat it in a delicious chocolate bar—even if you are having an attack of the munchies. Candy company giants, the Hershey Co., are suing a Colorado company, TinctureBelle, who are selling weed-infused products that riff off Hershey's popular candy bars.

And you can't really blame the Colorado company for doing it, it's far too tempting to turn Hershey's into Hashey's the "medicinal chocolate almond bar", Reese's into Hashees and Almond Joy into Ganja Joy. But, of course, Hershey aren't going to want any of their products associated with psychoactive drugs. They have a brand to protect so being the total bunch of squares that they are, they've filed a lawsuit for trademark infringement. Bummer, man.

Another factor worrying Hershey is the "Won't somebody please think of the children!" aspect. Candy is marketed to children they say, and even with the green stamp that says a product contains maryjane, they're worried children (and stupid adults) will be gobbling up these bars by mistake and then having deep and meaningful conversations about toasters and stuff.

A further problem with these edibles is the fact that eating weed can debilitate you a lot slower and more thoroughly that just smoking a doob, and catch you off guard. Especially as these bars don't tend to distribute the weed evenly through the candy, so you could bite off more than your mind could chew. Anyone who's spent time at a festival will know the brain-wobbling effects of eating too many hash brownies. "I can't feel anything dude, let's eat another ten." Then, moments later, you're besotted with THC, dribbling down a stranger while the going gets weird.

This rookie mistake is what happened to New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd. Intrepid reporter that she is, she decided to go gonzo and sample some marijuana candy bar—then came the fatal error of thinking it wasn't working, so she ate more. Then the crippling paranoia set in and before she knew it, she thought she was dead. She details the experience in her column. "But then I felt a scary shudder go through my body and brain." she writes, "I barely made it from the desk to the bed, where I lay curled up in a hallucinatory state for the next eight hours." Man up Maureen, we've all been there.

Cenk Uygur, of Young Turks, gives her a suitable ribbing in the video below.

And remember kids, don't accept candy from a stranger. Unless it has a green stamp on it, then save it to give to you mom and dad.