The Microtech Halo V 3X Is The Biggest And Most Ridiculous Knife Ever Made

If, in your life, you find yourself battling monsters or struggling to slice a mutant apple the size of Cthulhu's brain, then you might need the gargantuan beast that is the Microtech Marfione Custom Halo V 3X OTF Knife, to give it its official name.

Obviously it's not very portable, not unless you're Shaquille O'Neal anyway, as just the blade measures 13.75 inches, with its overall full unsheathed length a massive 32.25 inches. Yep, it's a monster.

It's more than enough to show that you're 'compensating for something and large enough to alarm anybody you happen to show it to, possibly making them reconsider your friendship.

So huge in scale is it that the only way it could be advertised is with a very funny spoof video (above) created by The Edge Observer, featuring lines like, "The blade is a half inch thick and has been proven to withstand ballistic missiles fired from 100m." Sounds like something one of the Avengers should own.

Sadly, you won't be able to own one though, because Blade HQ who were selling it (check it here) are out of stock. Plus, it was $9,500. But on the bright side, it's inspired some great comments from YouTubers.

And here's some stills from the video, showing off its preposterous size.

You're going to need a slightly bigger fork dude!