Russian Scientist Seeks Immortality By Injecting Himself With 3.5 Million Year Old Bacteria

A Russian scientist is injecting himself with a 3.5 million-year-old bacteria to see if it might help him live longer. Moscow State University's Anatoli Brouchkov, who heads up the Geocryology Department, has been injecting himself with Bacillus F and notes that he hasn't had flu for two years and is able to work longer hours.

Bacillus F has existed in the permafrost in the Sakha Republic, a region of Siberia, for millions of years. Scientists have been studying the ancient bacteria since it was first discovered in 2009, injecting it into mice where it has helped older female mice to reproduce. But Brouchkov has become the first human guinea pig.

"I started to work longer, I've never had a flu for the last two years,' he told The Siberian Times. "After successful experiments on mice and fruit flies, I thought it would be interesting to try the inactivated bacterial culture.

Besides, the permafrost is thawing, and I guess these bacteria get into the environment, into the water, so the local population, the Yakut people, in fact, for a long time are getting these cells with water, and even seem to live longer than some other nations. So there was no danger for me."

He does stress that the way he injected it into himself wasn't conducted under rigorous scientific conditions, so there's still plenty of work to be done before we all start injecting ourself in the hopes of eternal life.

"It still needs the experiments. We have to work out how this bacteria prevents ageing. I think that is the way this science should develop. What is keeping that mechanism alive? And how can we use it for our own benefits?"

Just in case you think this is utter nonsense i'd like to remind you about what you learned as a kid watching ThunderCats and the demon sorcerer Mumm-Ra, the self-proclaimed "ever-living source of evil" on Third Earth, having powers of sorcery and an apparently unlimited lifespan. So there.