Universal Hot Crazy Matrix Is 'Everything A Young Man Needs To Know About Women'

Looking for a wife to spend all eternity (or, you know, just the rest of your life or thereabouts) with can be a minefield. So many factors to take in, you can easily get lost. But help is at hand in the form of this video, which claims to guide you through all you need to know.

In under six minutes Dana McLendon, father of two, gun-lover and lawyer from Tennessee, shows you the "Universal Hot Crazy Matrix" which McLendon says is "everything a young man needs to know about women."

In his tongue-in-cheek chart, McLendon shows us the various zones that crop up around the hot-crazy line. Basically anything below a five on the hot scale is a no go zone. But there's also the "fun zone", "danger zone", "date zone", the all-important "wife zone" (five to seven crazy, above an eight hot), the "unicorn zone" (doesn't exist) and the "tranny zone."

Have a watch and then commit the chart to memory. You never know who you might want to offend.