Tragedy Of The Day: First Person To Buy iPhone 6 Drops It Immediately On The Floor

The iPhone 6 has just been released in stores, you're super psyched to get your fanboy paws on one. You've been queuing for days and your only nourishment has been the tangible excitement of your fellow tent-dwellers.

You finally get your hands on one, you're the first iPhone 6 owner in the world! You walk outside, a reporter's waiting there so you can unveil it together and, oh my God this is SO EXCITING, then...then... oh crap you dropped it. Man, that sucks. But hey, at least you got one.

The iPhone 6 goes on general release in stores today, and panic has already set in. Supplies may not equal demand and as such it could be chaos out there. Utter, mind-numbing paralysis on the streets! Well, a few slightly peeved Apple nerds anyway. But Apple loves to do this, hyping up interest and generating publicity. The news will be full of reporters standing next to long lines of people in sleeping bags explaining why they must have the new phone.

Over in London—much like every other major city in the world—at one of Apple's stores people, well just guys, are waiting  in a loooong queue to get the new phone.

Some people couldn't fathom why anyone would queue like this.

Others were quick to point out the anthropological precedent for queuing for an new iPhone.

Others were happy to torment the queuers:

One guy in China took more drastic measures to get his hands on the new phone, offering to rent his girlfriend for $1.65 an hour to raise money. But it's not what you think, it's for study or dinner dates only.

Alluding to the free U2 album that nobody wanted but was downloaded to their phone anyway, Katy Perry joked that the new phone would come with a free selfie of her. Good one Katy.

And for all those who will inevitably be disappointed, here's a protip to help see you through the dark days until you can get one.