Zayn Malik Quits One Direction, The Internet Goes Insane With Grief And Ridicule
The world of tweens was thrown into utter chaos and despair yesterday as news broke that—try not to weep to profusely—Zayn Malik quit One Direction. I know, I know. Dark days. The announcement came from the group's Facebook page, where Zayn posted his reasons for destroying the lives of millions of teenagers.
"I am leaving because I want to be a normal 22-year-old who is able to relax and have some private time out of the spotlight." said the selfish bastard. And that's all it took for twitter to go batsh*t crazy with fans crying rivers of sorrow, while everyone else made light of it, shrugging their shoulders and getting on with their lives.
There is some light for fans though, as the band will continue as a four-piece and no doubt Zayn will join them again for a lucrative tour 10 years down the line, just like Robbie Williams did with Take That.
In a stroke of genius, YouTuber Ben Burst made a video (above) pretending to be upset at the news and CBS ended up airing it. You can check out his exemplary performance at 23 seconds in. It highlights the feelings of tweens the world over
Of course the place to be if you wanted to light a candle and share your grief over this terrible event was Twitter.
Here's some of the genuine outpourings of grief along with some of the jokes flying about. (Btw, it's said if you drink the tears of a One Direction fan when one of the band members quits, you'll get power beyond imagining. But that's just something I read on the internet, not sure if it's actually true.)